wanderlust: noun. /ˈwɒndəlʌst /ˈ (from German) — a strong desire to travel
Where does it come from … and have I always felt like this?
For some people that know me the choice to participate in the Clipper Race and my plans to go travelling might sound a bit out of the ordinary …
To them I’ve probably always seemed like a city boy … or “finance bro” for any US readers!
However, I’ve always had a deep desire to travel and passion to explore, which goes back to childhood. So here’s a bit of personal history …
My parents were quite “outdoorsy” and, if I remember correctly, they even met on an Alpine mountaineering trip. Our garage was full of all sorts of equipment – ice axes, crampons, skis and various camping paraphernalia and I used to enjoy rummaging around and imagining some adventure … or later throwing myself out of trees on very out of date static abseil ropes!
One of my earliest memories … as a toddler … was of being in the Alps.
I don’t know where it was, but we were in a restaurant in the mountains, and for some strange reason I can remember the glass windows overlooking the mountains and the condensation from all the people inside! It’s an odd memory …
I also found a toy deer there … which I named Bambi and became very attached to … but we’ll gloss over that!
Growing up, my family lived on the South Downs Way in what seemed a very remote and rural location to a young child.
One year the winter was particularly rough … we had trees down and snow that was so deep it blocked us from leaving for a few days and required assistance from local farmers to clear.
That winter we built an igloo. I say we … but I mean my family built an igloo for me! I’m not talking small either … 3 of us could fit in it … and it had a proper entrance tunnel!
You might just make out that it’s about 5 feet high …
At around 4 or 5 years old … my parents decided we would walk a section of the South Downs Way as part of our summer holiday … from near Worthing out to Eastbourne and we would stay in youth hostels.
Our first day took us to a hostel that we could literally see from our house … granted on the other side of the valley and up the largest hill around … it’s in the background of the igloo actually … but to a young me, it felt like I was now in a completely different place!
Trips like this became a bit of a staple for summer holidays … Dartmoor, Devon, Cornwall often the destinations.
I also used to read a lot as a kid … mostly books handed down from my brother and sister or out of my parent’s library (which was filled with Wilbur Smith, Frederick Forsyth and Jack Higgins etc.) … and one of my favourites was the Willard Price Adventure series.
I’ve just re-purchased some of these to read again … I’m aware they are children’s books, but I’m enjoying the nostalgia!
If you do read them … you’ll have to look past the anachronistic premise and attitudes … I’m not sure that two teenage boys travelling the world hunting and capturing animals to trade to zoo is quite what publishers would go for nowadays …
When I went away to school, I got involved in the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award scheme (Bronze, Silver and Gold) primarily for the expedition side … there are many other facets to the scheme covering skills and social impact etc. as it aims to contribute to well-rounded development of young people … but getting out in places like Exmoor and the Brecon Beacons was a great escape from academic school life.
The Ten Tors Expedition, an event organised on Dartmoor by the British Army, was another way for me to supplement the DofE expeditions.
We competed in the 45 miler … we weren’t old enough for the 55 miler … and won our class, arriving back at the start by around lunch on Day 2 having wild camped near our 8th Tor, which was as far as we were permitted to go on Day 1 with about 30 miles having been covered on Day 1.
I also participated in Orienteering … which is a little bit like trail running, but you have to work out the route as you go and it’s usually not on trails and places significant emphasis on your map-reading speed and accuracy as well as endurance … plus you get to wear some very fetching outfits!
A few years we did training in Scotland spending weeks running around the hills near Aviemore … which could be pretty challenging when you are trying to find a specific boulder, in a small gully on a mountain side that is effectively nothing but boulders and gullies!
On the travel side, around the age of 16 or 17, I applied for and was awarded a place on an exchange programme with the school … but this was a little different from most … in that the exchange was with a school in Northern India for around 2 months!
Other than a few trips to France, I hadn’t really travelled abroad much (childhood holidays were mainly in the UK as mentioned) so this was a huge travel … and cultural … adventure for me.
It was an unforgettable and formative trip and some of my favourite memories are from the time we travelled to and stayed in Nainital and hiked up to the Hindu Surkanda Devi temple at Dhanaulti which sits at about 9,000 ft.
I vividly remember walking up through what I had thought was mist … recognising that it was eerily quiet as my friends were further down the path behind me, so I now felt quite alone … and then hearing what sounded like cow bells echoing in the distance …
As I reached the entrance to the temple, I was rewarded with a break in the mist … which turned out to be clouds …
The temple emerged in front of me and views unfolded across the hill stations, with glorious sun reflecting off the tops of the clouds, clear out towards the Himalayas.
It may only have been for a few seconds before others arrived … but that brief moment alone, on the ground but above the clouds … the first time I had experienced it … was incredibly peaceful.
I often find myself thinking about Dhanaulti …
Back in school, I had been sport climbing regularly for a few years as the school had, quite a novel style, climbing wall.
My climbing coach / teacher, who became a close friend and mentor, was a former Royal Marine Officer.
My brother had been a cadet with the Royal Navy, and from about 8 or 9 years old, I thought I’d probably follow and pursue a Naval career.
With my enjoyment of the expeditions and climbing, and the insight and support of my coach, my aspirations focused towards the Royal Marines … and we’d bumped into a fair few on occasion … probably doing their 30-miler training on Dartmoor while we had been out on our own treks …
We enjoyed several group trips to popular climbing spots over a few years as he tried to introduce us to more traditional climbing, including at our favoured spot at Sennen!
Sadly, he had an accident on a route in Cheddar Gorge … one that we were planning to climb a few weeks later as part of my trad climbing progression … and was killed in the fall.
He was 32 or 33 years old … and had genuinely lived a life full of adventure …
This had a pretty big impact on me and I didn’t really do any trad climbing much again after that. It was years before I eventually got past it and out in the Alps to do some mountaineering … but I haven’t really done much since.
It’s a discipline I’d like to pick up again …
I continued to focus on my goal of joining the Royal Marines, with hopes of securing a University Cadetship to provide both financial support and also military training between terms. It’s a fantastic scheme, offered by many branches of UK military … but due to the low officer intake by the Royal Marines they only used to offer 1 or 2 places each year and I don’t think they do offer it anymore.
So … at 17 years old … I found myself down at CTCRM Lympstone for my Potential Officers Course, on the bottom field, lying on my back in the mud and freezing February rain, with three other guys … trying to kick a telegraph pole up a hill …
Yeh … that sounds pretty mad to me too!
This was part of the 3 day course which I had grossly underestimated. I’d done a lot of prep for the RMFA, Assault Course tactics (with and without telegraph pole), rope hangs and the endurance course, plus the presentations and essays … but on the physical side I hadn’t anticipated how much they were going to beast us and wear us down before taking the assessments … I wish my liaison officer had given a heads-up … plus the cold in the wet fatigues at that time of year.
Some of us were struggling and getting close to hypothermia … I had some pretty severe cramping pains in my legs and a feeling like my muscles were tearing with every step. One of the guys got shouted at for shivering … “Get control of your body!”
Even then … I found it difficult not to chuckle at someone being told to control an involuntary reflex and a physiological mechanism that is actively trying to help warm your body up!
Eventually they sent us in … getting back to wing accommodation for a much-needed hot shower, my fingers were so numb I couldn’t undo the very wet, very muddy and now very tight laces on my boots.
In a mad rush to jump in the shower, I then tried to take my trousers off over my boots … and failed at that too!
I’ll never forget the shock of the cleaner who was approached by a nearly naked, shivering young man, caked in mud and with his trousers round his ankles … asking for help with his boot laces!
Some of the course went well … but I failed a few key aspects … specifically the fireman’s carries, so was ultimately unsuccessful on the course. I could make excuses about the weather and being the youngest on the course … but really, I wasn’t adequately prepared and my legs or my mind … or both … just weren’t strong enough on the day.
I did get some entertaining advice from the officers at the end … which was too eat a few more pies!
It’s strange to say … as much as it physically hurt and was truly exhausting at the time … whenever I look back on it, I remember how enjoyable it was. I know many people feel the same about various sports and activities they do … it’s funny how that works …
So, off to university in London I went … but with no cadetship funding … although still with an ambition to try again for POC at the end of university.
I worked a few jobs around lectures to help pay the bills, but my fitness began to wane, the city life began to corrupt me … and the cost of living (even then) instilled some kind of fear of a need to work … especially with the student loans and university fees building up my debt!
I entered the workforce and largely abandoned the idea of applying to the Royal Marines again … although for several years I continued to think about the POC and I knew that there was time limit as they have a cut off for applications at 32 years old …
My 32nd birthday came … and went … and I finally said goodbye to a teenage life goal.
It’s been one of the biggest lessons in my life … that time is the thief of opportunity.
If you don’t take action … opportunities will be taken from you … and in many cases you can never get them back.
It’s too easy to say “I’ll do it tomorrow” or “Maybe next year” … but we never know what might happen and what … or who … can be taken from us at any point.
They say that in the end, it’s the things we didn’t do that we regret most … but usually by the time we release and understand that, it’s too late. If you haven’t tried … you haven’t lived …
I feel I had forgotten this for some time … or subconsciously I was ignoring and suppressing it … but events of the last few years have reminded me …
I do regret not having gone back to the Royal Marines and always will … but I accept that opportunity has gone forever. Instead of lamenting a life that could have been … adapt and pivot and find something else fulfilling …
And … so it is … with no employment obligations, no dependants, reasonably good health and the financial means to do it … that I came to finally apply for the Clipper Race!
After making excuses and putting it off for almost 20 years … if I hadn’t made that decision now, when the opportunity was staring me in the face and my life circumstances couldn’t be better aligned … I surely would have regretted it in the future!
After literally thousands of hours at desks in front of computers working on PowerPoint presentations and Excel models … probably as many hours as most people in their 60s who are reaching retirement have worked given that I signed away my working time rights and 100+ hour weeks weren’t unheard of … I’m looking forward to a couple of years of adventure and just enjoying being outdoors and travelling!
Please don’t mistake me … I’ve had a pretty fun and fulfilling life alongside my career. I’ve visited 6 continents and around 40 countries so far … I’ve slept in the Sahara and seen the Pyramids at Giza … sailed former America’s Cup yachts in Sydney Harbour and brought in the New Year there with friends … driven 2,000 miles through Death Valley, Yosemite and on the Pacific Coast Highway … jet-skied around Howe Sound just outside Vancouver … climbed Sigiriya rock in Sri Lanaka … to highlight just a few.
I’m simply looking forward to seeing and doing more … and having a couple of years of adventure to just enjoy being outdoors and travelling!
You can call it a millennial, mid-life crisis if you want … I prefer to think of it as a time of clarity, growth and fulfilment … enjoying a slice of freedom while it lasts … and a return to my roots!
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